but is there anything to say?
have been sick and on antibiotics almost the whole month.
work is a crazy place these days but there is alot fun too.
still wishing to step out of it a little bit. like not being to affected by it. like having a little unvisible wall around me. that would be nice.

working on a new attitude. not sure if im really getting better. not sure at all. am i improving? or not? please give me a sign!

snow is all gone. now there is rain and wind. but everything is better than snow. please spring, be here soon! everything is easier then.

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with this bike

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ha im so thrilled i bought these. i hope they arrive SOON and in good quality!

Lese den ganzen Eintrag »

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having headace the whole day. im pretty good in getting it on mondays.

work is weird with all new co-workers. ive got a new one too. the very first time i saw her for a short time weeks ago i wasnt a fan of her. today i thought she was nice. until she said something to rude and uncalled. thats going to be fun. not.

weekend fun:

found some cat food in front of my door. very nice, not knowing which neighbour gave it to me.

was shoveling alot snow saturday afternoon. one of my neighbours passed by. he is the one i only saw once and he looked cute and artsy. not so on saturday.
he said hello, i said hello.
he went and came back: “do you need some help?”
“nope”
“sure?”
“yep” *silence* “im not as weak as i look”
“wasnt meant like that”
*silence*
“but if you need some help just knock on my door”
“okay”

sunday morning  the cat went outside. as usual she was making some “Meow” sound outside. doesnt mean she wants back in. if i take her back in she does her meow  at my door. let her out again, meow outside. can play this game for hours, no kidding.
just was brushing my hair i heard a knock on my door.
outside my female neighbour from above, short t shirt and underwear.
“i let your cat in”
“oh thanks” *explanation why no need to do so*
“she went upstairs”
“thats okay, she’ll come down soon”
“shall i take her in with me”
“no…”
????????!!!!!!!!!!!this cat is MINE.

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finally the video from december!

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was at my aunts and uncles place today. she is over 70, he is over 80. both have alot of health issues. i had a very bad cold last week and was sick at home. feeling better now but still having a cold.
got told i should see the doctor again.
said no, what for?
got told im not doing really better.
so what would the doc tell me? i wouldnt get any more antibiotics i bet and so far it only helped a little. i dont believe in it anyway. its not THAT cure at all. so he would tell me to drink alot (water) and get some rest. he wouldnt give me a note to stay at home for some more days. so whats the point in going there.
got told i should get a real check up.
i dont like it when its all about doctors and being sick and pills and blah blah.
the more you concentrate on it the worse it gets. having better things to do than going to the doctors again and again. yes, im having colds alot. doesnt matter if i work out alot, eat healthy, do not smoke or smoke. blame it on my job (with all the little kids) and all that stress around. so what? unless i win the lottery and/or can make my life the way i want it to be there will always be that much stress. doctor cannot help with it.

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still sick. better..but i could be much better. cant believe its friday already and almost over.

wondering about that guy living on the 4th floor. i only have seen him two times and he seems kinda cute. im wondering why i dont see him more often. when he is leaving the house, when coming back? what does he do for living? its a weird house im living in. i barely see ppl even though im in and out alot. so i should see ppl. cant miss the new neighbours above me, they are loud. i know the neighbours below me. i see the man alot, the kids and the woman not.

the one next to me, an very old woman.
and then there is a music teacher, i see her every now and then. but since she works in the afternoons when im at home these are rare moments too.
then there is this guy and a woman with one (or two?) daughters. she leaves the house even earlier than me. i think we should see each other more often. but its a weird old house.

oh and i have so many ideas for some webstuff. just dont get started.

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i woke up feeling wasted (or still sick). managed to find my bathroom and put some clothes on, washed myself, hair still a huge mess. got some coffee (some ended up on the kitchen table) and had a cigarette. door rang. thought: mail, good, waiting for something. went to the door (still messy hair, no make-up and a swollen eye (dunno why)). hit the button to open the door downstairs. heard nothing. opened my door. and there stood a young guy (like 18) easily leaning at the stair-rail. my first word was: “oh”.
he said good morning and we have to turn the water of for 20 minutes. i said okay.

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so its february. i got very sick this weekend. a flue. even had temperature which is rare. feeling better now but no good at all. but since i have to stay at home the whole week i realized how stressed out i was the last weeks. insane. so i guess i had to become sick to realize it and get out of this stress. in this way i am already feeling much better and more myself again.

my new female crush (too much time watching too much tv)

i always think “wow!” when i see her on nurse jackie! which is great btw. and i discovered life unexpected. great show too.

i wish there would be an online place where i could write about daily life without ppl around me finding it. i would have so, so, so much to tell. more than i ever could write here. id become famous with it, i bet :p

so, what else? not much. would need an anonymous place for it to tell any ideas?
gonna take a shower now and then back to bed.

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